Where did I go?

Hi everybody.

Long time no see.
I've had some comment about how it's been to long since my last entry, and why did I stop blogging.
So... I've spent some time thinking, and here's what I found out.

I am just to satisfied these days.

Apart from the entry about how you're all important to me, every post in my blog has been about my misery in some way, and how it affects me.
And, I wil be the first to admit it. When I'm feeling down I'm the biggest egomaniac you can find. It's all about how I feel, and whot the world needs to do for me, and so forth and so forth.

But when I'm satisfied, and I feel like life is treating me good, I seem to forget telling about it to anyone.

And so I've come to realise that I need to start making som changes, and the first wil be to let you know when I'm feeling good, as well as when I'm feeling down.

So there it is.

Blog you soon again.

Love and kisses Lrothari

Friends

Friends. It's such a simple word, yet with so much meaning.
I have this profound need to share with the world just how much my friends mean to me.

It's such a simple thing to say. Just go up to the person in question and say:
"You are important to me."
Nothing else, just this. Think back how many times have you said this to someone?
then consider: How would it make you fell if someone said it to you?

It's souch a simple thing, yet we seem to forget to do it.

So here it is from me.

"You are important to me!"
I don't care who you are, you are all important to me!

Love and kisses Lrothari

Feelings part three

Sometimes I wonder if I'm loosing parts of my self. I find myself drowning in two beautiful clear blue eyes. I get lost in a symetrical face that light up as I come in to view.
I have come to realise that Iæm not loosing parts of my self, I am however retaining my sens of self. I am confident in the fact that I wil go on, and that I have left a mark.
I am of course talking about my son, and how I find myself constanly looking at him when he's around. He is the culmination on my being. He make me se my self for what I am, and he makes me realise the responsibility I have taken on.
In sum; He is one the main reasons why I get up in the morning, and why I have no problem in getting over a bad day. All I have to do is go home and take a look at him, and I feel good.

Life is so worth everything when he is around.

Love and kisses Lrothari.

Feelings part 2

Feelings have this unnerving tendency to slip out when you least expect them to.

For instance;

Coming in to the office in the morning, not really thinking about anything special, and one of my co-workers ask if I'm alright. I answer the standard answerthat; "Yes of course I'm alright, should'nt I be?" She then proceeds saying: "You've just looked a little more tired than usual the past three days".

At this point I find that I have to take stock off my self, and what do I find?

Feelings.

Feelings of being inadequate.

Feelings of being the only sane person left in a world gone mad.

Feeligns of being totaly alone, even though I'm sorrounded by people.

Feelings of being asked to take responsibility for things I have no control over.

As you can see, there's a lot of feelings. And as my co-worker so adequatelyput it. It was starting to show.

The good thing about beeing confronted liek this is that I get to sort through these feeligns. Not neccecerily getting to grips with them, but identifying them, and acknowledging them.

This lets me continue with my shoulders a little less under my ears, and people finding me a little more congenial to be around.

Love and kisses Lrothari

Feelings

That really bad feeling that keeps nagging at you from the pit of you stomach, you now the one. The one that you just can't shake. When you just feel that something is not quite right, and you just can't pinpoint what it is.
It's a really shitty feeling, and the really, really fucked up thing about it is:

I'm having that feeling right now, and I don't know why!!!

Lrothari

Life

I sometimes feel like there's no point to some of the things that I do.
Look at my job for instance. I use most of my time trying to help the people I work for, and most of the time I get yelled at for doing something they disagree with me about. They lack the insight neccesery to make well informed decisions regarding their own life. It is here that I come in. I make suggestions about how they may do the thing that need to be done, and then I help them do theese things. Still.. When all is said and done, they stil find fault, and they let me hear it. Time and time again.

Is this perhaps the meaning of it all. That no matter what I do, ungratefullness is the way of things.

Kisses Lrothari

New to this

Hi.

Since I'm new to all this I should probably start by putting down something really profund and deep. Somthing that leaves everybody; "Ohh", and "Ahh". I should put down a revelation that has never been written before, but I won't.

I'l start with the fact that most of my little observations is little more than just that. Observations. Meaning: It's my wiew on existing material.

I'm no big thinker, I just think a lot.

And on that account I close of my first post. And hope to find time to share my observations again soon.

Love and kisses Lrothari.